when all is said and done, bite me

ok guys im just lettin you know im not going to be updating anymore because everybodys mood on here is bring me down. wayyyyy down. have yall ever realized yall kinda have it made? and that complaining about stupid things is umm, hello? stupid. i just think that yall are taking things to dramatically for their class. and yall are taking things for granted. you have parents. and (OMG) they f-ing love you so get over it. you have friends. you have everything you fucking need. get over yourselves. your life honestly cant suck that bad. i bet i have friends who've been through deeper shit in there lives then your whole generation. who cares if your mom bitches at you, what mom doesnt. who gives if your dad is an asshole, what dad isnt and who gives if some guy cant figure out if he likes you, yall arent getting married. so honestly get over it and youselves because its just gtting pathetic. yall need to retrace maybe get some therapy for whatever little made up probles yall may have and get on with your life. i know some of yall have been through shit, i know somebody who has and shes the happiest hyper firend i have, she doesnt sit there and sulk about shit that isnt important. and honestly ive been through a whole lotta shit too but you dont see me showing everyone and taling about it nonstop and mines something to worry about
so go eat an apple and get some endorphins and get over yourself and be happy. you don tneed an f-ing guy to feel special. thats what you have friends for.
yall know my number just dont call and bitch

a-z get to know me

A - Age you got your first REAL kiss: 12 (if youre talking makeout session)
B - Band listening to right now: seether
C - Crush: david maxwell. i think
D - Dad's name: scott
E - Easiest person to talk to: david
F - Favorite bands at the moment: seether and creed
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: hate anything gummy
H - Hometown: atlanta
I - Instruments: n/a
J- Junior High: ridgeview
K - Kids: no
L - Longest car ride ever: washington
M - Mom's name: susan
N - Nicknames: emmi, em, anomolie, amolie, and like 100 more
O - One wish: be in d.c.
P - Phobia[s]: n/a
Q - Quote: "never live the same day twice"
R - Reason to smile: lol. idk
S - Song you sang last: linkin park
T - Time you woke up [today]: 6
U - Unknown fact about me: why would i tell you?
V - Vegetable you hate: lima beans
W - Worst habit(s): biting my inner lip, really hard
X - X-rays you've had: stomach and back
Y - Yummy food: idk...mac and cheese?
Z - Zodiac sign: scorpio (GOOO SCORPIOs)

this is....who i am, not who i want to be...

(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) made out with someone of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
(x) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired

(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of ur friend's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(x) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your livejournal friends
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
(x) purposely set a part of urself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
(x) been snowboarding
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
(x) had/have braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced with the devil in the pale moonlight
(xxxx) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
(hahahaha) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed penis in class
(biscuit) ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
( ) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
(x) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(tried) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
(x) gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch
(lake) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool
(x) been kicked out your house

will you love me or must i plead?

you tell me im beautiful, im not blind, i know youre lying
you say you miss me, inside im sighing
your fibs and stories bring down my hope
and while you are laughing im trying to cope
so many worlds and so little time
and yet when im with you i think im fine
i know youre lying , i see your eyes
but the security keeps me alive
how would you love me best, fat or thin?
how would you love me best, what color skin?
would you like me anorexic, bulimac or both?
would you love me even if i started to smoke?
how about if i was blonde or brunette?
what if i was different when we'd met?
if i got pregnant, would you care?
would you mind that others' will stare?
a million questions, so little time
this time im taking chances, will you mind?
when im feeling hopeless will you be there?
when im crying my eyes out will you be fair?
will you hurt me this time or will it be okay?
and in the end am i going to pay?
i dont like the confusion, the empty mind
i dont like the fact that im wasting time
but i need to know if youll love me like before
when i was 'perfect' or whatever more?
i know im different, i can see
but will you love me and stay by me?
i dont want to make you mad at all
but back then, was i just something you saw?
one more quesion, then i'll stop
will you be my love or my heart-throb?
  • Current Music
    palmer sharpening knives

(no subject)

i visited eagles landing today, i liked it compared to all this other shit. but then we HAD to drive to roswell the high schools actually prety cool but the middle schools suck pink acne ass. palmer likes it. i hate it. idk whats gonna happen. some guys keeps looking at the house, i think he'll buy it. heres the thing, i done have the energy to make new firneds all over again for the like 10th time... and d.c. and srockbridge are the only places ive ever felt "at home" i ahev been at home for almost a year, and frankly im homesick, and i know d.c. is out of the Q but stockbridge isnt adn i shall make it my #1 priority to move there

(no subject)

i watched the notebook for the 1st time since i saw it with amanda. i cried this time. like 3 glistening tears. damnit i was suppose to be the only one who didnt cry. WTf. im ruined. haha jk. kinda. im the only white person in my school. joy joy joy
and this time. im serious

(no subject)

can someone tell me how to download pics onto here. i have to show yall my rbother and me...recent pics!...theyre in files in MY PICTURES> but i cant figure it out...ill try one more time...commetn please and save me!

(no subject)

2 things
gotta new sn (dont know if i am gonna keep it)

second (mandi i cant hold it in)
im moving to eagles landing (or w.e) when this house sells (which'll be soon) an d if my mom keeps her promise

(no subject)

my back hurts, my ass hurts, my leg is killing me, i have like 10 hang nails and a cut in my mouth and a accidnetly stuck a safety pin under my fingernail. my fingernails are so short it hurts, my neck hurts, my eyes hurt and my mom said i shoujold live with my dad. i bet $1000 fucking big bucks its cause of barry, we moved to SC cause of him, so now she wants to get rid of her fucking kids cause of him. YOU CANT JSUT GET RID OF YOU KIDS. she shoulve gotten a damn abortion...saved her money atleast.
anyways... i went to dad's/ hayden's this weekend... haydne and i went to my dads her got 2 puppies (jack russels) (8 dogs now!!) and they got 2 horses and a goat and 3 kittens (makes 4 cats) and theyre gonna get llamas and goats and donkeys and more horses and more dogs and its exciting but i wouldnt wanna live there. she really doesnt want us anymore. and i really honestly feel thats the truth. i saw this coming. i so saw this comming. WHEN DOES YOUR FUCKING MOM PICK SOME (UNDERLINE SOME) GUY OVER HER FUCKING CHILDREN. SHES KNOW HIM FOR LIKE ONLY 8 MONTHS>>>>> but shes known us all of our lives. this is pathetic. im so fucking tired of her fucking excuses and i feel like i dont have a fucking home, no friends. damnit. i feel so fucking alone. and i hate crying but hell im fucking crying right now and i just feel so damn helpless and its like DONT I GET A FUCKIG BREAK!?! im fuckin 13, and im like the fucking mother in this family. shes started smoking a lot. and all this weekend i was around haydens paretns adn they were smoking like every second i smell smoke and then i get into my moms car and shes smoking and i cant fucking breathe. and im just noticing all this shit. i tell her to stop. i get elled at. i tell her how i feel. i get yelled at.. is there anything that i can do right? if there is then please i s2g please tell me. i cant take these guiilt trips she's throwing at me. theyre just coming so gd fast